Written By Johnny Krump
“Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.”
My name is Johnny Krump. And I am an alcoholic. When I came to this program I was at a place of desperation. Tired, broken, spun out and strung out. I was willing to do whatever they asked of me. It started with step work in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Steps 1-5 took me 6 months!
Step seven was where I had half assed my program for years. Step THREE and SEVEN! I made sure to really give my life over to my Higher Power…who I am not ashamed to call Christ today. I pray in the morning and I pray and night. I have never gotten loaded on a day that I prayed. Step seven? “We humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings” seems simple right? But what I found was that it would be there very character defects that always allowed me to take my will and my life back into my own hands allowing me to “play my own god” again. This of course never worked because left to my old consciousness…I was a dead man walking. I realized that I had to take a look at “my will” and “my life” again. You see, one of my greatest “shortcomings” was not being able to tell the difference between “God’s will” and “My will” . This is because an alcoholic like myself tends to default easily to playing God. I often think that because I am the one making the decision…it must be “Gods Will.” Fortunately for me I have a sponsor who knows he is my sponsor and tells me that if it is “my will” it will probably only benefit myself. If the choice is up to God? It’s probably going to be good for everybody involved. You see I have come to realize that God is inclusive…not
exclusive…forgiving…kind…patient…just…fair…and a rewarder of those who actually seek him. I wrote down a list of all the behaviors and actions that separated me from my Higher Power and His Grace…these were basically variations of the seven deadly sins. I wrote in the name of the God who made me. From my mothers womb He had been my God. I trusted that if I prayed He would hear me and and would in HIS TIME…heal my soul. Out of the depths of repetitive hell…I called to my Higher Power. I asked Him to change me and what I value in life. To make me who he wants me to be…and give me strength to be the man…I am always defending. I assure you the man writing this blog today…is NOT the same person that crawled into Graceland Ranch and the program outside it. They say “you have to give it away to keep it.” I say… “You have to GIVE IT AWAY TO GET IT.”
I asked God to bury my pride before my pride buries me. Sure I joke around on Tik Tok…but underneath I take this shit to be life and death seriously. Today I review my shortcomings each night on my 10th step. I am secretary of a Zuma beach tower 10 group…and am of service at my mens stag in Simi Valley putting away chairs and doing clean up after our meeting. I am a man among men and my employer is GOD. My sponsor pointed to the steps. The steps pointed to God. God pointed me back to you. Whoever you are…whatever you are going through…know this…I couldn’t form sentences. I had no contact with my daughter…my child’s mother had a restraining order against me. I was a dying lunatic. Today my daughter Cailyn calls me “DAD!” Her mother considers me a dear friend…we speak often…she even wants me to move next door to be closer. That DOES NOT HAPPEN…without GOD! That wouldn’t have happened…without Graceland Ranch.
Out of the woodwork and with respect…