Feb 1 

Written By Erika Fulbright


What does the disease of addiction mean to me? I personally would create a list even before twiddling with the idea of answering such a question. I would start by writing down what was going on in my thoughts and actions before my addiction, What was it like during my addiction, and now there-after. The after can be looked at as the present moment. What does your present moment look like and what would you like it to look like tomorrow? If you are content with your present moment, then don’t change a thing. If you are possibly irritable, restless, and discontent I would try and take a closer look at that and what you can do, now, to change it. There is no harm if it does not work out the first, seventh, or hundredth time. Failing is learning and with that said you can begin to become comfortable with failure once you begin to see that failure as a learning experience. In shorter words; Learn to Lose. 

The easiest way to break down step one and thus, a better understanding of your addiction is to create a list of consequences related to the behavior. These can be positive consequences and negative consequences. Once you have got sort of a format to review you can begin to highlight which of those consequences made you powerless over your addictive behaviors. Just be wary of how we as alcoholics can be as manipulative with ourselves as we are with the world surrounding ourselves.We tend to spin so many webs around our lives that we get tangled up in the chaos of them in the process. Remember, your sobriety is one of those special things in life that we are allowed to be fearlessly honest and completely selfish for. It is a great responsibility that we as alcoholics take on to admit we were alcoholic. Sometimes greater than we realize in the moment. But, it is no more difficult than continuing the insanity of waking up every morning, evening, noon, and night to find ourselves doing the same thing over again.

The first principle taught in Step 1 is Honesty and speaking our truth.
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